Haiku Matching Contest - Valentine's Day Results

Global Haiku Traditions Spring 2010

eyes closed tightly
wishing you
were someone else

Becky Smith

dancing together
I watch in tears
across the room

Nathan Bettenhausen

white hospital room
holding her frail hand
their last kiss

Jade Anderson

she straightens
his collar
white lillies

Aubrie Cox

eyes closed tightly
wishing you
were someone else

white hospital room
holding her frail hand
their last kiss

 

top quarter champion

eyes closed tightly
wishing you
were someone else

 

 

top half champion

sweet night air
a first kiss
in the tube slide

 

bottom quarter champion

sweet night air
a first kiss
in the tube slide

 

sweet night air
a first kiss
in the tube slide

Charlie Brown
never got
valentines

playing tag
the little girl makes him
a mud pie

Susie Wirthlin

sweet night air
a first kiss
in the tube slide

Kari Thornton

Charlie Brown
never got
valentines

Garrett Derman

handing out cards
shy around him
first crush

Olivia Birkey

 

top half champion

sweet night air
a first kiss
in the tube slide

 

 

champion

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

 

bottom half champion

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

 

three little words
to make this day perfect
I hate you

Kari Thornton

you think you can fix it
with flowers and candy
Happy Valentine’s Day

Becky Smith

new fingers
laced between mine
free of him at last

Jade Anderson

I gander across the room
a green eyed God
waiting for confidence

Becky Smith

three little words
to make this day perfect
I hate you

new fingers
laced between mine
free of him at last

 

top quarter champion

three little words
to make this day perfect
I hate you

 

 

bottom half champion

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

 

bottom quarter champion

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

 

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

reading her letters
amidst the gunfire
ready to go home

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

Tyler Lamensky

purple summer
the grass sways
as we sway

Susie Wirthlin

taking the train
after a long week
ready for her

Olivia Birkey

reading her letters
amidst the gunfire
ready to go home

Olivia Birkey

Responses to Favorite Pairs:

eyes closed tightly
wishing you
were someone else

Becky Smith

dancing together
I watch in tears
across the room

Nathan Bettenhausen

white hospital room
holding her frail hand
their last kiss

Jade Anderson

she straightens
his collar
white lillies

Aubrie Cox

I really like this match up because it can be read together in a couple different ways. One way is as one person thinking both things. He or she is at a school dance or a party and is with his/her date. With the “you” and “I” in the haiku’s I can place myself in this. I would be sitting next to my date and I would close my eyes tightly wishing to be with the guy I see dancing with another girl across the room. It brings tears to my eyes and it doesn’t make wherever I am very pleasant. Another way to read it is each one coming from someone else. It is almost like a love triangle. I watch the guy I want to be with dancing with someone else; while the girl he’s dancing with wishes he was someone else. A lot can be read into these not-so-happy Valentines Day haiku. Kari

These two poems together made my stomach sick with sadness, because I have been in both situations. The second one especially brought back a specific memory of a junior high dance I attended many years ago. I had had the biggest crush on my friend for a few months, and all I wanted was to be able to dance with him during the “Snowball Slow Dance.” Yet when the DJ announced that it was time to pick partners, I stood alone. My eyes never left my friend’s face, but he didn’t even notice me as he headed towards another girl. Even though it was a minor bruise to my ego, it was my first true heartbreak—the first time I felt my heart plummet into my stomach at the realization my dreams weren’t going to come true. Jade

I absolutely loved this pair. I wanted “eyes closed tightly” to win the whole thing. I think what I loved about it the most was how real and forbidden they are. The haiku are about something that is very frowned upon by society. You aren’t supposed to love someone who is either in another relationship or someone else when you are in a relationship. However, almost everyone has done such a thing. I just really like how this pulls that and makes it such an emotional picture. It takes you back to that time you had and makes you feel that all over again. You can really feel these things because you can remember that experience. It’s just so real. Olivia

This haiku pairing is remarkably touching. Here’s how I see them: The first one depicts an elderly couple kissing one last time. The poor woman is frail and dying. Her husband kisses her one last time, and she dies shortly afterwards. Their love will be forever united through that last beautiful, doomed kiss. It is such a powerful image. The second haiku shows another elderly couple shortly after a woman’s husband dies. He is lying in the coffin at the funeral and she straightens his collar, the same way she has straightened his collar for years. She clearly loves him so dearly still. Both are so romantic and depict love the way it should be: everlasting. Nathan

three little words
to make this day perfect
I hate you

Kari Thornton

you think you can fix it
with flowers and candy
Happy Valentine’s Day

Becky Smith

eyes closed tightly
wishing you
were someone else

Becky Smith

white hospital room
holding her frail hand
their last kiss

Jade Anderson

I chose these two because both of them evoke the same emotion in completely opposite ways. The first one is very direct and flat out says “I hate you” while the other one uses an accusatory tone to belittle the other person. I like how in the second one it never says anything negative as far as word choice, yet it carries the same vehemence as the first one. Garrett

This pair of haiku is strikingly beautiful to me. In both, there is a fragility and inevitability that seems inescapable. The first haiku makes me think of someone who is with a new love, but still thinking and wishing for their old partner. There is still love there, but it is sad in the sense that they are only wishing to be with their “one” true love. The second haiku makes me think of what happened before the first haiku. Husband and wife are together, the wife is dying in the hospital, and they have one final kiss. Then, later in his life the man has found another woman who wants to be with him, but he cannot forget his wife, the woman he truly and fully loved and was meant to be with forever. Susie

the golden field sways
whispering quietly
our untold secrets

Tyler Lamensky

purple summer
the grass sways
as we sway

Susie Wirthlin

   

Both of these poems came from our Valentine's Day haiku matching contest. I enjoy how both poems provide a calm and relaxed atmosphere while still keeping you wide awake. The swaying of the grass is something I can associate with in my childhood form the field in the back of our house. Laying down in the grass as a gentle breeze blows by on a Summer day is perfectly described in both poems. Tyler

 

 

© 2010, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.