I am an artist. Well, I’m trying to be one. My medium you ask? Haiku. But, you see, I haven’t quite grasped the whole concept of what haiku is yet. I didn’t even know what a haiku was until a couple weeks ago. There are so many things going on in my life it’s hard to just go with the flow. Do you know what I mean? Hmmm, how do I explain this to you… I’ll start with why I chose haiku and my struggles of me writing a good one, maybe then you’ll understand.
It was a boring summer’s day. There was nothing to do, no where to go, no one to see. I picked up a book, opened it to a random page, and read:
For some reason it just moved me. I felt like it spoke to me and I could feel a gentle breeze lifting and carrying me. It’s as if the haiku was written just for me and it told me what I needed to do. I needed to write haiku. I wanted to be able to put a piece of me in someone else’s life through these small poems.
I began to write, thinking “O! How hard could this really be? Three little lines, ya know like what they taught in grade school 5-7-5.” How wrong was I!. Do you know what goes into a haiku? It’s not just words. Yeah I know, what then goes into writing a haiku? It can be one line, two, and of course three. It doesn’t matter how many syllables are in it, so why then can’t I just scribble something on a page and call it a haiku. It doesn’t make sense!! I’ve found through extensive research that a haiku typically goes from general to specific, is in some form tied into the external world (popularly nature), and creates an inner feeling for the reader. For me the struggle is tying them all together. I’ve written God knows how many and feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I’m starting to question my calling to this haiku stuff.
Not only do I have to deal with all this technical haiku stuff, but the distractions of this world are ridiculous. I swear I can get nowhere because my mind is constantly jumping from thought to thought. I feel like my experiences are overtaking me. School, work, family stuff, and get this…. an amazing boy who doesn’t exactly know how much I like him. All these thoughts are just fogging up my thought process and preventing me from writing. How am I supposed to be a real haiku poet and still live a normal life? If I was to take away my schizo, thoughts then I could finally write. Uuuuggghhhh. O the life of a struggling poet.
Yvonne is such a drama queen. Being her sister is interesting to say the least. She wants to be a poet and write something beautiful, how hard could that really be? I mean she has a full life, is always busy and stuff, but wouldn’t that give her plenty of inspiration? My life on the other hand, is boring, yet I can still pop out a haiku every now and then. For example I wrote this one day when Yvonne was having one of her fits:
rain on windows
her tormented soul
escapes in a drop
Ok so it’s not brilliance or anything, but hey I take in what I see and try to use it. She doesn’t know I’m writing haiku too. I actually started before she even knew about haiku. That was my book she picked up and so proudly claimed to be a sign from God. More like my forgetfulness to put it away in my room. She can be so over the top sometimes. I don’t even know how she does it.
jumping up and down
a squeal emerges
from a text message
She gets excited over the littlest things and then upset about the stupidest issues when stuff doesn’t go her way. Hopefully she figures this haiku thing out fast or I’m going to go crazy from her pacing back and forth across the house. Maybe I should slide a note in the book to help get her started?
Another rainy day. I am going CRAZY being stuck inside!! It doesn’t help that I still can’t write a good haiku. Who determines what is good and what isn’t? I mean if I think it’s a masterpiece, is that good enough to be classified as a haiku? Who has to say they like it for it to be successful? Maybe they’ll give me a break and just tell me one of the ones I have written are good. I need some kind of template on how to write. This is just frustrating. Every time I read one to Kristine she just shrugs and is like “Ok…. You could do better.” AHHH! She just doesn’t understand how difficult this is.
Ok I’m getting tired of this rain too, but use it Yvonne, seriously!!!
She thinks I don’t understand her frustration. What she doesn’t understand is that you have to write 100 bad ones to get a good one. I don’t even think she’s concentrating. She needs to relax and let it flow. She is always texting or doing something. I think she just has too much clouding her writing process. I am really tempted just to slip that note in a book.
Good thing I got a job, I can’t be around her much longer without ripping my hair out. First it was all this haiku drama, and then boy stuff got added on, now she’s all over the place about nothing to do inside. Silly girl. She has so much to learn.
I woke up this morning and reached for my haiku book. I like to read one as soon as my eyes open in hopes of inspiring me to write each day. Sometimes I feel like it works, other times I’m still lost. Anyways, this morning, right, my book was gone!! I always take it back to my room. Each night before I go to bed I place it on my night stand in hopes of dreaming of haiku words. I got frantic and started tearing my room apart. Great, another thing to worry about today. I can never find peace. Why must it always be hectic! After tearing my room apart I walked into the living room to see if I forgot it, but I could have sworn that I put it next to me. Kristine was already up which is weird because she usually sleeps most of the day away. She’s watching TV and eating a bowl of cereal, next to her is… my book… I swear if she did something to it I’m going to hurt her. If my book mark is moved…. Oooooo there’s going to be Hell to pay. I walk over calmly and sit in the other chair. “O! this is where I left it. Good morning Kristine.” “Good morning Yvonne. You look frazzled today.” She knows I know, she is caught red handed! I go back to my room and sit in my chair to read some before I take my shower. As I turned the next page a small piece of paper falls out. I don’t remember ever seeing this, but of course I’ve never gotten this far before. I slowly unfold it and find
“Trust the process. Go with the flow.
I recognize this handwriting anywhere!!!! Kristine! Who does she think she is trying to give me advice! She has always been jealous of me. Gah! She just makes me so mad!
She found the note. I know it was stupid of me not to type it up or have someone else write it, but where am I going to find someone to write it at 3 in the morning? I had to sneak in her room while she was sleeping, which is hard to do. She is such a light sleeper and her room is very messy. It was like walking through a jungle. But, I accomplished my task and retrieved the book. I quickly thought of advice to try and help her without screaming at her to loosen up! She came in here really frazzled. I didn’t realize she sleeps with the book every night. I could definitely tell she was thinking I stole it. HaHa! She practically ran in here. After she found her book she went back to her room. Maybe I’ll have some peace and quiet to go back to sleep. I am soooo tired. Just as I’m closing my eyes I hear foot steps and
“three little words
to make this day perfect
I hate you”
… at least she wrote a good haiku…